


hey baby, i've got my ion you!

by forkfru1t



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst with a Happy Ending, Developing Relationship, F/M, Fluff, M/M, Rated M for language, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, athlete!Merlin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-06
Updated: 2019-04-06
Packaged: 2020-01-05 15:01:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 18,940
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18368420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/forkfru1t/pseuds/forkfru1t
Summary: Arthur just wanted to pass chemistry. He didn’t expect to fall for the cute soccer player teaching him.





	hey baby, i've got my ion you!

**Author's Note:**

> hi! so this is my first fic ever! i hope it's somewhat good lol, but please comment constructive criticism!! i really want to get better at writing so if you have any thoughts about it, please comment :DD also!! i don't know anything about british slang or the education system i'm so sorry if i butchered anything!!!
> 
> also: the bolded italicized text is merlin and the just bolded text is arthur

Arthur was completely and utterly _fucked._ He had never been so stressed in his life.

He glanced at the clock. It was already three A.M. He couldn’t believe he was spending this much time on gas laws, but partial pressures just didn’t agree with him. He couldn’t even remember which problem he was on right now. He laid his head flat on the desk and thought, _One more problem, then sleep._

He blinked and suddenly it was seven A.M. Arthur jolted up and might have pulled a muscle in the process, but he ignored it. He was going to be late for school _and_ fail his chemistry test. Maybe he could skip, call in sick. _Can’t afford another absence. Fuck._  

Quickly, he brushed his teeth and put on whatever seemed clean enough from the floor. Arthur couldn’t even grab anything to eat, he was _that_ late. Almost tripping on his shoelaces, he rushed out the door to school.

Luckily, there was still time to get to class. He had English first so he could probably get away with studying a bit there. He entered the classroom and sat down beside Leon.

“Are you ready for the chem test?” Leon faced him.

“If I hear the words gas laws in the next fifteen seconds, I’m going to punch a hole through this wall,” Arthur felt like his brain was melting even while speaking. He was so screwed.

“I guess studying didn’t go so well?” He gave Arthur a sympathetic smile.

“You have no idea,” he said and opened his binder to the remaining practice problems he had. Looking at his worksheet he realized he wouldn’t last the day without falling asleep. It was frustrating because Chemistry was the only class he struggled with. It wasn’t _his_ fault his teacher wouldn’t know how to teach even if it hit him in the head.

-

Lunch rolled around and Arthur had taken his test. It honestly wasn’t that bad, either he had aced it or failed miserably. Either way, he was too distracted to care. Gwaine was trying to fit fifteen carrots into his mouth, and the rest of his football buddies were cheering him on.

“Thow mawy in tho far?” Gwaine was spitting everywhere, Arthur couldn’t believe he sat next to such _idiots._ He was forced into sitting next to Leon’s teammates, but Gwen and his sister made it bearable.

“Gwaine, I swear to God if you spit any of that on my clothes I’ll have you cleaning out lockers till the end of the year,” Merlin said with a disgusted look on his face.

“Abtholute wanthker,” Gwaine retaliated, then proceeded to spit the carrots from his mouth onto Merlin’s lap. Merlin stared appalled at his lap and a mix of emotions crossed his face. Arthur decided that Merlin picked rage and pulled Gwaine into a headlock. Gwaine, managing to escape, ran around the room, yelling every often with Merlin right behind him. The rest of the table seemed unfazed by this and continued to eat.

-

Lunch had just finished and Arthur was walking towards the doors when a hand grabbed his arm. He turned around to face Merlin. _Um._ Merlin let go of his arm when Arthur turned around and looked down, almost embarrassed. Merlin was fidgeting when Arthur spoke up, ”Need anything?”

“Uh. Well, this is kind of embarrassing, and I know we don’t talk a lot.” They didn’t talk at _all,_ actually. They sat at the same table and yet they had barely uttered a word to each other. “But, I heard you’re really good at writing essays and I wanted to ask you if you could help me with mine?”

“Help you? I’m not going to write your essay for you.”

“No! Not write my essay for me,” he laughed nervously, “Just help me with what’s wrong with it and all.”

“Didn’t think you’d need any help, star athlete getting a scholarship and all,” Arthur replied.

“I’m not getting it based on academics. Just take one look at this essay. It’s _crap._ ”

“Not really enough reason,” Arthur said, bored.

“Oh,” Merlin looked a little shocked, “I’ll find someone else.” He started to turn and walk away when Arthur remembered: Leon complained about how Merlin had an A in chemistry. _My dignity or my grades?_ He jogged to catch up to Merlin and blocked his path. _Grades it is._

“Wait,” Arthur said panting a little.  

“What?”

“I’ll do it. I’ll help you with your essay.”

“Thought you said there wasn’t enough reason,” Merlin pulled his other bag strap onto his shoulder, looking understandably annoyed.

“Now there is. I’ll help you with your essay _if_ you help me with chem.”

“Well, I don’t really wanna do it now,” Merlin shrugged.

“Why not? I said I would help you.”

“Talked to you for about five seconds and found out you were kind of a prat.”

“Um,” Arthur was frowning now too, “What’d you call me?”

“A prat. See you around I guess,” and Merlin was off, leaving Arthur dumbfounded.

-

The next day at lunch Arthur found himself staring at Merlin, still startled from their conversation yesterday. He had talked about it to Morgana at home after school, but all she had said was “Well, you can be kind of a dick.” He didn’t give her any of his waffles this morning just for that. He was too prideful to admit that he might have been rude to him but still, _a prat?_ What did that even mean? Arthur was pulled out of his thoughts when Merlin turned to face him and gave him a frown. He quickly looked down and turned into Morgana’s conversation with Gwen.

“Oh my God! I knew it!” Morgana almost yelled.

“Keep it down! The man down the street might have just heard that,” Gwen replied.

“I totally knew it, you’re so in love.”

“It’s not love!” Gwen rushed to explain.

“What are you two talking about?” Arthur was eager to find out what got Gwen blushing this much. The girl was practically a tomato.

“Let’s move to the other side of the room. You can talk as loud as you want and _no one_ here will hear,” Gwen said getting up. He got up and all three of them _went to get water._

When they came back to the table, Merlin had gotten out of his seat and was headed towards Arthur. Arthur’s head began to pound, still thinking about their encounter from yesterday. He separated from Morgana and walked towards him.

“Okay, so I know I said you were a prat-”

“ _What_ does that even mean?”

“You’re a dick, but _,_ I’m going to swallow my pride and ask for help again. You have no idea how bad this essay is,” Merlin said, eyes wide.

_Oh, thank fuck._

“Okay. But you have to promise to help me with chemistry,” Arthur replied coolly.

“Yeah, sure.”

“When do you want to start?” He asked.

“Is today okay? I have a deadline on this and I don’t really want bad marks in my easiest class…” Merlin trailed off.

“We can start today. Want to meet in the library after school?”

“I don’t have practice today so that’s fine. See you then,” Merlin smiled and walked back to his seat.

-

Arthur pulled out his ear buds and started for the library once the bell rang. He was a little nervous. It was just tutoring and it was essays, essays were _easy._ Yet, Arthur still couldn’t shake the weird feeling in his stomach. Opening the doors of the library, he immediately spotted Merlin. Merlin waved at him to move to the table he reserved for them.

“Hey,” Merlin greeted, looking back down at the multiple papers splayed across the desk

“Wow, okay. What’s your essay about?” He said taking a seat next to Merlin.

“Uh. Well, it’s kind of free topic?’

“Huh?”

“We can write about whatever, and I chose women’s rights in the working society.”

“Okay. You keep insisting that it’s rubbish, so let me see it,” Arthur said putting his glasses on.

“Oh! I didn’t know you wore glasses. You look…”

“Weird? Yeah. I just use them for reading sometimes,” Arthur started to look over Merlin’s essay. He slowly realized that he wasn’t kidding when he said it was crap. It really was. The analysis wasn’t good for any of his evidence and some of it didn’t even match his thesis.

“No, I was going to say you look more....sophisticated, nice.”

“Uh...thanks.”

“Yeah,” Merlin smiled at him. Arthur turned back to the essay.

“I get what you were saying about your essay. It’s pretty rubbish. I honestly thought you would be better at this. Aren’t you good at math and science and pretty much everything else?”

“Thanks,” Merlin said sarcastically, “I just...don’t really know how to properly translate my thoughts down, you know?”

“No, I don’t know. I get A’s on all my essays,” Arthur began to form a proud smile.

“Ass.”

“Let’s work on your thesis first. Some of your evidence doesn’t fit it and I think it’s throwing your whole essay off,” Merlin moved closer to see all thing things Arthur had circled since they had begun. His paper was now covered in red and blue ink. His arm was touching Merlin’s hand.

They worked on the thesis for at least an hour, shaping and reshaping the sentence structure. Making it was strong enough to be argued against and other good things. Merlin slumped back into his chair ”Can we take a break? We’ll start chem right after, yeah?”

“Okay.” Arthur was beyond exhausted. After the long day he had and the constant steering of Merlin with his essay, it was no wonder his head was pounding like crazy.

They made their way over to the vending machine and Arthur couldn’t stop himself from putting his head in his hands. It had managed to get worse after walking. The pain was almost unbearable now.

“You okay? You look like you’re in pain,” Merlin looked at him, face seemingly concerned.

“It’s just a stupid headache, long day,” He replied. The more he talked the more it hurt.

“Hey, we can stop for today if you’d like. Let you rest your head and feel fresh tomorrow, yeah?” Merlin put a hand on his shoulder. The sudden touch felt strange.

Merlin seemed to have noticed his surprise and quickly removed his hand. “Let’s stop, I’m pretty tired too. We’ll continue tomorrow.” Arthur was about to protest when Merlin continued ”We’ll get to chem tomorrow, not like you have any major tests soon right?”

“Yeah. We can start tomorrow but promise me you’re not cocking out,” He held a stern face.

“Cocking out? I’ve got good marks in the class. I’ll see you,” He said heading back into the library to get his things leaving Arthur at the machine.

-

Arthur walked into the lunch room, and greeted Merlin but sat down at his usual spot near Morgana, Gwen, and Leon. He didn’t really talk to the other players, mostly Leon and Gwaine, and now Merlin. It seemed that Gwen and Morgana had continued their conversation from yesterday.

“Okay so we need a plan,” Morgana whispered. They were lucky the other boys were too concentrated on each other to notice what Morgana had to say.

“A plan? Morgana this isn’t a bloody heist.”

Morgana smiled “Might as well be, we’re going to steal his _heart_.”

“We can’t talk about this here, they’re going to notice!” Gwen said and turned back to her food.  

Lunch ended and Arthur walked over to Merlin ”Are we still meeting up for chem slash essay help today?” Arthur wouldn’t admit it, but he really, _really_ needed Merlin’s help.

“Oh, I completely forgot but I’ve got football practice today. You can meet me after if you’d like?” He offered.

“Oh. Uh, maybe not.”

“That’s alright. Tomorrow then?”

“Sure,” Merlin hit his bag and began walking to his next class. Arthur felt slightly disappointed.

-

Arthur sat at his desk contemplating: whether he would strangle his teacher for not teaching him about molarity or Merlin for not being there to explain it to him. He just couldn’t figure out the equations, getting mixed up and what not. He was going to rip Merlin a new one for it. As much as he searched the internet for answers, nothing came up. He didn’t even have Merlin’s number to ask questions! After asking all his friends and trying multiple methods, he finally gave up. _That’s it. I’ll fail and I won’t ever get into the good business program. Dad’s going to be so disappointed in me, might as well start failing all my other classes too. At the rate I’m going-_

His thoughts were interrupted by Morgana yelling for him to come down for dinner. He slammed his binder shut and went down the stairs.

-

“ _Merlin,”_ Arthur was very, very annoyed after being left to fend for himself with the homework. He knew _nothing._

“Yes?” Merlin was across from Arthur at their table today but was talking to Lance.

“I didn’t understand anything yesterday because you blew me off!”

“I had practice you twat!” Merlin began to scowl, “I can’t just skip practice! Did you at least try the internet?”

“Of course I did! What do you think I am, a dumbass?”

“Maybe,” Merlin crossed his arms and faced away from Arthur.

“Well, _maybe,_ I shouldn’t meet you today,” Arthur related. At that Merlin quickly turned back and said, ”That’s not fair! You know I’m on a deadline. No essays, no chem.”

“Fine, but you need to tell me when we can meet so I can plan.”

Merlin rolled his eyes and put the utensil away ”Sure. Give me your phone.”

“Uh, why?”

“To put my number in? So I can text you?” Merlin looked at Arthur like he grew two heads.

“Oh. Okay.”

After putting in his contact, Merlin handed the phone back to him and reached out his arm with his phone in hand. Again, Arthur was confused. “Put in _your_ number, Arthur,” Merlin said.

“Oh. Right,” Shortly after Arthur received a text saying:

**_hey :)) it’s merlin_ **

Smiling a little at his phone, Arthur quickly typed:

**I should have known you would type without capitalization, your essays should say enough.**

**_hey! that’s not really fair i can type how i ever i want on text_ **

**Sure.** ****

He stashed his phone away before Merlin could type anything else and started to pick at his salad.

-

After school ended, Arthur’s phone began to buzz, it got annoying after three times. He didn’t know who would text him this many times in a row.

**_meet me in the library 2day i don’t have practice_ **

**_wait actually meet me at the entrance we can move to a different place today_ **

**_change of scenery is good for the mind u know_ **

**_more relaxing_ **

**Fine. Don’t text so many times in a row.**

**You're blowing up my phone for no reason.**

He went to meet Merlin at the front entrance and spotted him immediately. It was hard not to, Merlin was incredibly tall and was _very, very_ pale. He waved at him and made his way down the stairs.

“So where are we going?”

“It’s a surprise,” Merlin smiled.

“Okay. Are we walking there?”

“No, we can take the bus, it’s faster.”

They got onto the bus and Merlin took the seat next to him. Merlin was right, they wouldn’t be able to walk the distance the bus was going. The bus turned left and right and Arthur’s body pushed into Merlin’s before he could get the change to brace himself for the sudden lurches.

“Sorry,” Arthur said quickly while holding onto his seat.

“It’s okay. This happens all the time. At least I’m not a stranger,” Merlin grinned at him, teeth and all. Arthur felt himself smiling back, just a little.

They finally reached their destination. Well, they had to walk a little, but they reached. It was a nice coffee shop called Avalon. Rose bushes were on both sides of the shop and when they stepped inside it made Arthur feel _relaxed,_ something he hadn’t felt in a while. He got in line and looked at the menu and the display. There were scones and muffins and Arthur's stomach growled just by looking at them.

“What are you gonna get?” Merlin asked.

“Just a latte and a, he paused, "a chocolate muffin.”

“Didn’t really take you for a latte kinda guy.”

“No? What did you think I was gonna order?”

“I don’t know? Black coffee or like an energy drink, you seem so intense,” Merlin shrugged.  

Arthur was about to say something back when the cashier called out ”Next!”

Merlin had gotten a peach tea and a vanilla scone, _not intense._ Once both of them had their orders in hand, they sat down. They were seated next to a large window and the heater was on full blast. Arthur felt warm.

“Okay, so, let’s finally get to that chemistry homework!” Merlin said, setting his tea down.

“Uh, well I kind of get mixed up with the formulas and I don’t know,” Arthur was already getting frustrated talking about it.

“That’s okay. We’ll work through it. Give me your paper, I’ll explain the problem to you,” Merlin moved next to him and started marking his paper in red pen.

-

They went on like this for the next few weeks, seeing each other for homework help. They talked more often that not and Arthur had to admit, it was nice. He might have even said he gained a friend. At this point, they had already finished the essay, but Merlin insisted on having Arthur help him. Arthur didn’t mind, he got chemistry help out of it. Although their conversations often went off topic.

“Harry Potter? Are you serious?” Arthur asked gobsmacked.

“Yeah, dead serious,” Merlin replied.

“I can’t believe star athlete and all-around academic superstar, Merlin Emrys is still obsessed with _Harry Potter,”_ Arthur was trying his best not to burst into loud laughter. He couldn’t disrupt the quiet studying environment, where they were _clearly_ not studying.

“Hey! Don’t try and tell me that you don’t have a guilty pleasure. Harry Potter is really good. I loved all the magic and adventure, kind of took me away from my mediocre life,” Merlin said as his eyes glazed over.

“I would hardly call your life mediocre Merlin, you’re a _star,”_ Arthur cleared his throat, “Star athlete, I mean.”

“Thanks,” Arthur thought he saw Merlin turn a little pink, but then again he did stay up pretty late last night.

-

**_wanna meet me today? i don’t have practice_ **

**Not today. I’m out sick, I wasn’t there at lunch. Maybe next week. Sorry.**

Arthur felt like death _. I’m going to die the most pathetic death: the common cold._ He headed towards the bathroom and came back to his phone blowing up. All texts from Merlin.

**_are you ok???_ **

**_do you need anything?_ **

**_is morgana there with u? i didn’t see her at lunch_ **

**_i can come over if u want_ **

**_forget  it i’m coming over text me ur address_ **

**_i’m bringing soup and i’ll b there right after school_ **

**_get better soon :)_ **

**Um. Sure.**

**Thanks.**

Arthur wasn’t used to this much worrying about his health. His father was rarely home and his mother had died when he was young. It was mostly just Morgana who took care of him when he was sick and vice versa. He wasn’t used to being fussed over, or at least from anyone outside his family.

School ended in about an hour so he might as well get up and try to clean. He went downstairs to clean the living room but while he was rearranging the pillows, he felt like he would collapse. He decided he felt too weak to continue and flopped onto the couch. _Catch up on sleep, that’s a good idea._

Arthur woke up to someone, maybe two people moving around the kitchen and talking.

“I don’t know why he does this. He just burns out right after. There’s really no point in it,” Arthur recognized Morgana’s voice instantly. “It was nice of you to bring soup over. Thank you.”

“It’s no problem. I needed to leave some chem notes for him anyways,” If Arthur wasn’t sure if they were talking about him before, he was now.

Slowly, he rose from his comatose state and walked towards Merlin and Morgana. But before Arthur could even speak, Merlin was up and scolding him “You shouldn’t be up! Go sit back down, I’ll bring your soup to the couch.”

He rolled his eyes ”Whatever you say, _Mom,_ ” Merlin punched his shoulder, _ow,_ and jerked his head towards the couch. Arthur dragged himself to the couch and Merlin followed, bringing tomato soup. _Unconventional, but okay._

It was as if he had read Arthur’s thoughts. Merlin apologized “Sorry, I didn’t have enough stuff for chicken noodle.”

“S’okay. Thanks for bringing it.”

“Of course. We’re friends,” Merlin grinned at him and Arthur couldn’t resist smiling back, even if his cheeks hurt.

Arthur tried to shift to the other side of the couch, but his limbs felt like they were on fire. He was afraid of Merlin catching whatever he had “Don’t sit too close to me, you’ll get sick too.”

“Nonsense,” Merlin replied, moving even closer to Arthur so their legs were almost touching. He set the soup down and covered Arthur in more blankets.

-

It was in fact _not_ nonsense because Merlin became ill only two days later. Merlin had been absent for about two days when Arthur texted him:

**Do you want me to come over? I can bring soup.**

**_thanks but i don’t want you to get sick again_**

**Nonsense!**

**_ugh u suck_ **

**_i guess i just don’t have a strong immune system_ **

**Ok. I’ll come over, get your essay stuff ready.**

**_i’m sick dimwit?????_ **

**Doesn’t really matter. Though you were on a deadline Emrys? :)**

**_fuck off_ **

**See you.**

Arthur had Merlin send him his address and was surprised to see he lived so close. Merlin’s was small in comparison to Arthur’s but it looked so cozy compared to his own home _._ There were rose bushes around his house. Reminding him of Avalon, he smiled and walked to the front step. Before he even rang the doorbell, the door flew open and he looked down to find a woman smiling brightly at him.

“I’m here to see Merlin? This is the correct house, right?"

“Yes! Come in, you must be Arthur. I’m Merlin’s mother. You can call me Hunith,” She finished with a smile.

Arthur smiled back awkwardly and entered the house. When they came to the kitchen he showed her the food he had brought “I have soup for Merlin.”

“Oh, that’s so sweet of you! You can bring it up to him, here’s a spoon.”

“It was nice meeting you, Hunith,” He flashed her a smile and climbed up the stairs.

He opened the door to find Merlin lying in bed looking completely wrecked. His hair was everywhere, he was drooling on his pillow and was sweating like crazy. Not to mention his room, which was probably in worse condition than him.

Arthur whispered, not wanting to startle the other ”Get up. I’m here,” Merlin didn’t budge.

“Get up,” Arthur shook him, “God, Merlin get up!” He whisper-screamed. Still no response.

“Fuckwad. Get up,” He said in a stern voice and pushed him to the side. Merlin jerked upwards and almost knocked Arthur to the floor.

He sighed “ _Fuckwad?_ Really?”

Pouting, Arthur said “You weren’t getting up,” He helped Merlin get off his bed and took out the papers he had for him.

“Okay, if we’re going to work on my essay, let’s work on chemistry too,” Merlin said.

“Fine. I didn’t learn anything new though,” Arthur quickly surveyed Merlin’s room and realized he wasn’t kidding about liking magic. His ceiling was covered in what looked like glow in the dark stars, he had all the Harry Potter books and multiple posters on his wall. “Your room is so....”

“Lame. It’s fine, you can say it.”

“I was gonna say shiny. I like the stars,” Merlin smiled, “Anyways, your essays _are_ getting better, but there’s still a lot of work to do. Start with an outline maybe, so you can plan your evidence out. Also, this time, choose evidence that’s _relevant_ to your thesis.”

Merlin frowned ”This is too much for my sick brain to handle, I can’t believe you’re making me do this.”

“You said you were on a deadline!” Arthur said, holding up the spoon.  

Merlin stared at it in disbelief, “Are you...threatening me with a fucking spoon?”

“Maybe. But you should try to do this. Or at least get a head start, yeah?”

“Fine.”

They worked on Merlin’s essay and Arthur’s homework until it was dark. Arthur decided his brain had fried enough for today and started to pack up his things. He and Merlin headed down the stairs when Merlin’s mother had stopped them both and said ”We were just about to have dinner, would you want to stay?’

“I wouldn’t want to impose, I was just going home,” Arthur declined.

“It’s no problem, take some food with you, we have cake.”

“Well, if you insist,” Arthur said with a smile.

They ate in mostly silence, and occasionally Merlin’s mother would ask about school and Merlin would crack jokes. It was nice being around a family that was so comfortable with each other. When it was just Morgana and himself at the house, he could joke around all he wanted. The moment their father came home though, Arthur immediately felt like an enormous weight was placed on him. He constantly felt like he had to be the best, or he would disappoint Uther. Arthur was brought back to reality when Hunith asked ”How are you liking the cake, Arthur?”

“It’s very nice. Thank you.”

“Wanna take some home?” Merlin asked. Then mouthed _Prat._

“Sure. Morgana would love some,” He smiled at them, then kicked Merlin under the table. “I think I should get going now though, thank you for such a lovely dinner.” Arthur cleaned his plate at the sink, gathered his things and moved to the door, but not without saying ”Feel better, yeah?”

Merlin touched his arm and gave him a small smile. “Thanks, see you tomorrow hopefully.”

-

By now they’d passed the awkward-silence-look-at-each-other-to-start-the-conversation phase and started to talk regularly. Merlin walked Arthur to his locker and his classes and they met after school to walk to Avalon as much as they could. They even began to sit next to each other during lunch too. Morgana and Gwen, almost their _entire_ table said that they were joined at the hip. They couldn’t be found without each other at school. Arthur insisted that they had gotten close because of the studying, nothing more to it. He _did_ need help.

Merlin had just finished a sentence of his paragraph when he said ”You look really stressed,” _Yeah, no shit Sherlock, my dad’s coming home soon._ “Wanna come to my game next week? We can hang out, relax,” He drawled the _x_ out, “It’s on a Friday.”

Arthur was startled ”Really? Sure, football is interesting enough.”

“Wicked!”

Then Arthur realized ”Oh, I can’t next week. My dad is coming home from his business trip.”

“Oh, okay. You should at least try and chill out though. Come to my practice tomorrow? We can tutor right after, it’ll be easy.”

Turning back to the papers Arthur said “Okay, sure.”

-

Arthur had been nervous the entire day and he really didn’t know why. He said was going to meet the girls and head to the team’s practice. Since they were all friends, it shouldn’t have felt weird for Arthur, and yet, he was anxious. He met Gwen and Morgana at their respective buildings and walked over to the field.  

They reached the field when the practice was well underway. Arthur’s vision was full of tall, fast boys chasing a ball. It was almost overwhelming. They took seats on the bleachers and watched the team play for a while.

Arthur liked football, but he wasn’t interested enough to get invested. Well, maybe until now. Watching his friends play made him jumpy. Merlin had looked over in his direction and smiled quickly, but Gwaine had stolen the ball from him in the process and was sprinting towards the other goal.

“You’re a dead fucking man, Gwaine!” Merlin yelled.

“Oh please! You love me!”

Merlin was so loud, it felt like Arthur could hear him right next to his ear ”Fuck you!”

“Handling your loss like a champ, I see!” Gwaine laughed.

Even though it was just scrimmage, the team was so intense, it was making Arthur nervous for their goals. He wasn’t even playing! Leon deflected the goal Gwaine had tried to score and Arthur leaped up.

“Yes!” He yelled.

Embarrassed about losing his composure, he sat back down with a slightly red face. Morgana and Gwen giggled ”Didn’t know you were so passionate about football, Arthur.”

“Come off it, Gwen, it’s Leon. We have to cheer him on,” Arthur turned back to the players.

Watching Merlin in action was something else. No wonder he was one of the best on his team. The boy moved with precision and was just _so fast._ Arthur didn’t think people could run that swiftly, he looked like a streak of gold dribbling the ball around. He was a good teammate, Arthur noticed. Merlin allowed the newer players to take his place once in a while and passed to others as much as he could, but he also noticed that Merlin was _fan-fucking-tastic_ at scoring. If this was what Merlin was like during practice, Arthur honestly couldn’t wait to see him in an actual game.

Their practice was coming to an end so Arthur and the girls went down the bleachers. Arthur waved at the other players but went to high five Merlin.

“Woah,” Arthur said handing Merlin a water bottle.

“Thanks for the water,” He said taking it out of Arthur’s hand. Their fingers brushed, but Arthur shook the tingly feeling off. He was too concentrated on the fact that Merlin could move like _that._ The way he had played was so fluid, like magic.

“I’ll take a shower and we can go to Avalon. Sound good?” Merlin was backing away.

“Yeah. Sure,” Arthur smiled back at him.

-

If going to Merlin’s practice and the cafe had meant to relax him, it didn’t do the job. Arthur couldn’t stop his heart from beating out of his damn chest. He was so nervous, he was practically sweating out his weight. His father was coming back from an important business trip so he and Morgana had cleaned the entire house and wore their best clothes. Arthur was prepared for lectures and Morgana had ice cream and movies in case something went bad. _What are siblings for?_ Arthur thanked her but it still didn’t help get his nerves under control. He didn’t get to anyways, right as he went to sit down, Uther opened the door and stepped inside. Arthur shot back up.

“Morgana, Arthur. How are you?” He said setting his bags down.

“We’ve been good. Keeping up,” Morgana replied.

“That’s good. Good. How’s school?” _Damn._

Arthur hated when his father asked this question. He already knew he was going to get scolded. It wasn’t that he had bad grades, he had all A’s and wasn’t failing anything. Frankly, Arthur was exceptional, he was one of the smartest kids in their school. The problem was that he wasn’t _the_ smartest kid in school, he needed to be the best.

“How are your classes, Arthur? Are doing well.”

“I’m doing great actually,” he paused, hesitant, “I have a tutor for chemistry, so I’m doing even better now.”

“A tutor? Why do you need one?” _Fuck. Already messed things up!_

“Uh. Well-”

“Don’t stutter.”

“Well _,_ I wasn’t doing so well in chemistry for a couple of weeks and I wanted some help. My friend’s helping me now, I still have an A if that’s what you’re wondering.”

“Hmm...okay. Morgana? How are your classes?”

He continued to answer the questions his father shot at him with perfect answers. _Perfect. Perfect. Perfect._ But Arthur was surprised, he hadn't received any sort of lecture about having to do everything _correctly and with precision._ He was relieved.

-

He may have spoken too soon. They had dinner, it was awkward and weird. Uther had been gone for almost a whole month this time. Business trips took him away for so long that Arthur was used to not talking with his father that much. He was about to go upstairs when Uther called him down to talk.

“Arthur. Tell me what you’re doing to get into that business program,” _Oh my God, this feels like a school counselor meeting._

“Uh. Well, I’m keeping all my grades high. I’m in the debate club, I’m doing things for the business class you enrolled me in,” To be honest, Arthur didn’t really want to go into business; and he _really_ didn’t want to manage his father’s company. He felt like and cramped into a box.

“Not enough,” He said shaking his head. _Shit._

“I mean-”

“You need to be doing more things, Arthur! You don’t seem to have enough on your plate. The school doesn’t want anyone who isn’t passionate,” Uther complained. _Okay,_ _I don’t want the school._

“Yeah, I’ll keep it in mind. More stuff.”

“Good.”

“Okay, goodnight.”

“Goodnight, Arthur,” As he left the room, Arthur’s shoulder felt heavy and his heart heavier. He couldn’t wait to get to bed.

-

**_hey_ **

**Hi. What’s up?**

**_do you wanna come 2 my place today?_**  

**Okay. But why**

**_i have a headache and we can be somewhere quiet for once_ **

**If you have a headache you probably shouldn’t study after school.**

**_lol says the guy who stays up till 3 am almost every night_ **

**Get some rest.**

**_you care :)_ **

**Don’t want you to complain the whole time.**

Truth be told, Arthur could really use a pick-me-up. Even if they had only talked for a short time, their conversation had completely drained him and he had been in a weird state since. He figured seeing Merlin could probably help. School wasn’t over yet and lunch had passed so he was counting the minutes till Arthur would see him.

-

School had ended and he was walking over to his locker when someone flung their arm over his shoulder causing him to cough and bend down a little. He turned around to find Merlin smiling at him. He just shook his head and smiled back. He opened his locker, Merlin’s arm still around him. In the short time they had become friends, Arthur had noticed Merlin very _touchy-feely._ It wasn’t like he was only like this with Arthur, _why would he be?_ Merlin was always grabbing arms or bumping shoulders with his teammates. He’d figured it was just a sports thing.

They walked to Merlin’s house in comfortable silence. _His headache probably got worse. Should we even be tutoring? He said that we should though...maybe I can say no. I could say no and go. What’s the point though, he doesn’t fucking listen to me._

“You okay there? You look like you’re having a crisis,” Merlin said once they had reached the house. He was searching for his keys.

“I’m just wondering if you should be working, with your headache and all. You shouldn’t overwork yourself,” Arthur stated.

“Aw, look at you, caring. I remember when you made me work when I was sick,” He fake swooned and opened the door. The scent of fresh food and lavender filled Arthur’s nose.

“Shut up, _Merlin._ I was just asking since you have a game soon.”

Merlin climbed up the stairs and entered his room. “ _Yes,_ I know, but thanks.”

As soon as he set his bag down and Arthur felt pain. “Can I sit on your bed? My shoulders hurt.”

Merlin started to take out his papers. “Go ahead.”

“What are we working on?” Arthur propped himself up on his elbows and grabbed Merlin’s things.

“Um. We’re doing a poetry unit.”

“Poetry? I’m kind of rubbish at it, fair warning. I don’t really get the _your eyes are like the stars_ crap.”

“It’s not writing, we just have to analyze a couple of pieces.”

“Don’t really see how you need my help for that. You’re plenty smart on your own,” Arthur smiled at him.

Merlin smiled back “Yeah I know, just thought we could hang out today."

-

They worked for a couple of hours, occasionally taking breaks to eat and chat. The sun was setting when Merlin said, ”Move over, git. My head feels like it’s going to burst.” Arthur was _selfishly_ starfishing on the bed and rolled over. Merlin climbed on top and they didn’t have to speak to each other to know that they wouldn’t do any more work for the rest of the night. Arthur closed his eyes and rested his head on Merlin’s pillow. He felt at ease, but that was probably the lavender in the room.

“So,” Merlin started ”What do you wanna do after school?”

Arthur flipped over to face Merlin and propped himself up on his elbows “Uh, tomorrow?”

“No, stupid. After school, future plans,” Merlin turned to face him as well. They were close enough for Arthur to see every detail on Merlin’s face. _He has really long eyelashes. Can boys even have eyelashes like that?_

“Oh, well my father wants me to go to business school and manage his business after.”

“I asked about what _you_ wanted to do, not what your father wants you to do,” Arthur was surprised at his question. When people asked him this, he usually left it at that: _business school._ Though he appreciated the question, Arthur had no clue what he wanted to do.

“I don’t really know.”

“Well, let’s figure it out.”

“Right now?”

“Yeah, what do you like to do? Passions, interests?”

“Um. Well, I guess I would do something that helps people?” Merlin grinned at Arthurs suggestion.

“Okay. What about a lawyer?”

“No, wouldn’t want to go through law school. I feel like I wouldn’t be good enough.”

“Don’t say that! You’re great, and there’s no rush you know. How about....police officer? Girls love a man in a uniform,” Merlin suggested, raising his eyebrows.

“Not interested in solving crimes, to be honest,” Arthur said, looking bored.

“Okay, we’re just throwing up stuff. Um, what about...a teacher?”

“Have you seen some of the kids in our school? No way."

“You’re so picky! What about...therapist?"

“Piss off, I don’t know,” Arthur said laying his head on the pillow.

“Okay, one last try...social worker?” Arthur slowly turned back to Merlin, and his eyes widened.

Arthur thought it over. “Yeah, that could work.” They both fell back onto the bed. “Arthur Pendragon, _social worker,”_ Arthur tried it out. He closed his eyes when he realized that he hadn’t asked Merlin about his choice. “What do you want to be, you know...after school?”

“I want to be an ER nurse,” Merlin said proudly, “My uncle’s a nurse too, he used to tell me stories about his job. I always thought it was wonderful.”

“A nurse. That’s so...you,” Arthur said, “Always helping people.”

They had talked and talked and before they knew it, the sun had set and Arthur was getting sleepy. Merlin’s eyelids were drooping as well and the blankets covering them were definitely not helping. He decided to close his eyes. _I’ll just take a quick nap and be out. It’ll be fine._

-

Except it was _not_ fine and Arthur woke up to the blinding sunlight. He woke up to Merlin and himself oddly close together on the bed too. He moved away as much as possible without waking the other, embarrassed by the contact. _Uh._ He ran his hands through his hair. _Did I fall asleep? Oh my God, Morgana. I forgot about Morgana. She’s going to kill me. Fucking hell._ Arthur searched for his phone and turned it on to find at least fifty text messages, most of them threats.

**_Arthur, where the HELL are you???_ **

**_I’m going to kill you, you know that right?_ **

**_Can you answer me for once?_ **

**_Arthur where are you???_ **

**_I’m eating all the ice cream and the cookies fuck you!!_ ** _No! Those were mine._

**_Arthur where are you? Please call me._ **

**_I’m getting worried, it’s really late._ **

**_Call me as soon as possible and if you’re dead I’ll kill you._ **

**Morgana, I’m so sorry. I was at Merlin’s house and we just fell asleep, sorry.**

**I’ll come back soon, I promise.**

**Sorry again. Going soon.**

Arthur got up and gathered his things, as slowly and quietly as possible. He was about to leave when he looked back at Merlin, trying to make the decision of just leaving or waking him up. Arthur really didn’t want to wake him up, he looked so peaceful. His hair was everywhere and looked like was drooling but still, he looked calm. Arthur left a small note saying, _Sorry, Morgana didn’t know where I was and I need to go or she’ll kill me. See you at school, Emrys._ He exited Merlin’s house and walked to the bus station, trying to get back home as fast as possible.

When he opened the front door, he expected to find his sister glaring daggers at him, not his father. Arthur was surprised, words wouldn’t come out of his mouth ”Where have you _been_ Arthur? Morgana and I were worried sick!” _They’re going to kill me. Death by a father’s glare._

“Um, I was just at a friends house. I fell asleep before I could text you guys,” Arthur explained. He was walking up the stairs when Uther said ”I hope you’re not wasting all your time with friends. You know friends aren’t going to get you into college…”

“I’m not,” he left to go to his room and take a shower. He felt dirty after sleeping and walking in yesterday’s clothes but his father had just worsened his mood.

He came back from the shower to see Merlin had left him a few messages:

**_hey sorry for last night_ **

**_i should’ve woken you up or something_ **

**_did you know you snore?? you’re loud_ **

**I do not!**

**_hmm my destroyed earlobes and sleep deprived brain say otherwise_ **

**Fuck off.**

**_see you at school then_ **

**Wait.**

**Do you want to go somewhere tomorrow?**

**_like hangout or study???_ **

**To hang out. We only meet for studying and to be honest I’m tired of chemistry.**

**_sure why not_ **

**_do you wanna go to the cinema??_ **

**Okay.**

**_wicked!! see you then_ **

-

When the day came, Arthur started to regret their decision to go. They had picked the earliest showing and Merlin insisted on seeing a horror movie even though he had said he hated them. _Multiple times._ Luckily for them, there was a special showing of It _._ They went in and purchased the tickets and popcorn, buttered _obviously._

Arthur hadn’t imagined the night would go this way, he thought they would watch a lame action movie and be done. Instead, Arthur was about to start shaking. They sat next to each other and Merlin moved the armrest in between them.

“In case you get scared, you can jump into my arms without problems,” Merlin teased.

“Sod off. I’m not really scared, I just don’t like jump scares. They’re too sudden.”

“We can see a different movie if you really don’t want to.”

“We already bought the tickets though. Would be a waste of money, no?”

“Yeah,” The armrest remained raised, and the lights dimmed.

-

The movie was a complete disaster. Every time there was a jumpscare, Arthur jolted up. His face had been red throughout the entire movie from embarrassment and was thankful the theater was dark. At some point during the movie though, Merlin had gotten scared and grabbed Arthur’s hand. He was going to let go when Merlin’s grip tightened. He kept watching the movie like it was the most normal thing ever. Merlin’s hand held his for the rest of the movie and to be honest, he hadn’t minded at all.

When the movie ended and the lights went up, Merlin was still holding his hand.“That was a good movie!” Merlin said.

“I didn’t like the scares,” Arthur pouted.

“Stop being such a baby,” Merlin looked down and was surprised to find his hand on Arthur’s, “Oh. Sorry, I didn’t notice.”

“S’okay. Let’s go, I’m tired,” Merlin slipped his hand out of his and Arthur felt strange, almost disappointed. _Weird._

-

Arthur sat on the couch right next to Morgana. She was doing homework and watching _The Bachelor._ Normally, any of the shows she watched would melt Arthur’s brain two seconds after seeing it, but it was already fried. He rested his head on the end of the couch, slowly beginning to fall asleep.

“Morgana? Can I ask you something?”

“Yeah, sure.”

“I’m wanna ask you about,” he paused, “ _boys._ ” At this point, he was too delirious and barely awake to even think about what he was saying. It just tumbled out.

Morgana dropped her work and turned to him “Huh?” Before she could get any more questions in, he passed out.

When Arthur woke up the sun was setting. He still felt groggy but was glad that his sleep deprivation caught up with him. Any less sleep and he would probably be falling asleep while on the toilet. Arthur got up, still feeling groggy and got a glass of water. He was chugging it down when Morgana came up behind him and said ”Why’d you want to ask me about boys?” Arthur spit out his water and turned around.

“What? I never asked you that. All I remember is falling asleep on the couch.”

“Hmm...no. I probably heard you wrong. Continue drinking your water,” She said as she handed him a paper towel.

-

The next time Arthur saw Merlin they were at Avalon. He sat across from the other boy and took out his chemistry. Unfortunately, it was back to reality since the weekend ended. He had actually gotten to breathe during their small break instead of just finishing assignments. He had started on a problem but Merlin shoved a paper into his face.

“Help me find a word that rhymes with the sun.”

“Um. Okay? One, undone, fun, begun...um I can’t think of any more. What are you doing anyway?”

“We have to write _actual_ poems now. I know you’re shit so I don’t need help.”

“I didn’t say I was shit at them,” he rolled his eyes, “What are you writing about then.”

Merlin smiled and stared at him. There was a long pause before he said ”The sun. It seemed easy.”

“Oh, okay. Can you help me with my chem problem? We have to review the stuff we learned _five_ months back. I think I forgot how to do basic chemistry.”

“Okay, don’t worry. We can start back at the basics,” Merlin moved over and Arthur felt his heartbeat pick up. _Um._ He handed over his paper to the other boy and started on the problem.

“Can I see your poem?”

“No!” He said so loud, some people at the cafe turned their heads. Merlin cleared his throat ”Uh, no since it isn’t finished. And don’t change the subject, focus on your work. I don’t care if you’re about to fall asleep, you need to work on configurations and reactions. Actually, I do care. You better not be overworking yourself. It’s not good for your body. The last time you did this you got sick, and then you got _me_ sick!” He rambled on.

" _Now_ look who’s changing the subject? You getting sick was _your_ fault might I remind you. But if it makes you feel any better I got seven hours last night, plus a nap,” Arthur said and Merlin smiled at his response in approval.

 _“_ Okay so have you forgotten everything about configurations?”

“Uh...yes,” Arthur flushed a little.

“That’s fine. I’ll explain it to you right now. So the periodic table…” But as soon as he began, Arthur drowned out Merlin’s voice and stared at his hands instead. _I bet his hands are always cold. They were cold in the theater._ With that Arthur quickly went back to listening to Merlin.

“...and that’s why it’s five-D instead of six-D,” He noticed Arthur’s dazed expression, “Were you even listening?”

Arthur ignored Merlin’s question “You know what? I think we should stop here for today, I’m too tired to concentrate.”

Merlin looked confused but said “Okay, that’s fine. If you’re really stressed we can stop for a while. Actually, why don’t you come to practice? Or better yet, _an actual game._ It’ll be fun, you can bring your friends too. _”_

“I’ll try. No promises though,” Arthur started to pack his things up. He normally felt relaxed around Merlin but today Arthur felt like his bones would jump out of his body at any moment. He began to shake a little. _It’s just because of the cold._

“Don’t be such a dollop-head,” Merlin said.

“A what? Can you say that again?” They both got up and headed towards the door.

“A dollop-head,” They were walking towards the bus stop, Arthur needed to sit next to a window. He felt like he was going to start hyperventilating, _Boy found dead on bus, shook to his death, witnesses say._

“Care to explain what that means?”

He smiled “No.” The bus arrived and both boys climbed on. Merlin took his seat and Arthur sat in front of him. Merlin tapped his shoulder, giving him a confused look.

“Why are you sitting there?”

“Uh, I wanted to sit next to the window. I need air.”

“Why didn’t you just say so? I’ll move, sit next to me,” _Lovely._

“Okay,” Arthur moved next to Merlin and cracked open the window. He had put his bag in between them but their legs and shoulders still managed to bump into each other. The fresh air had managed to calm him down but still, he couldn’t shake this odd feeling. _It’s just Merlin, no need for heart attacks._

Merlin interrupted his thoughts ”If you come to my game, you have to cheer me on. It’s mandatory.”

“ _Mandatory?_ How so?”

“You’re my friend, Arthur. You kind of have to cheer for me, it’s an obligation.”

“Oh yeah, obviously. What would I even say? I haven’t been to many school games you know.”

“Hmm...most of the school just cheers _Go, Knights_ in unison. You, on the other hand, can say things like, _Merlin you’re so great,_ or, _Merlin you’re so strong_ or-”

“Fuck off, I’m not yelling that,” Arthur shoved him and laughed. They joked and talked for the rest of the ride home and Arthur eventually calmed down. _It’s probably just stress. Not a problem._

-

“Do you think he likes me?” Gwen asked.

Gwaine, Percival, Leon, and entire table let out a collective groan. Lance was absent today so they were able to talk about Gwen’s _very_ noticeable crush on him. She was going to ask him out because according to the other guys, Lance was _too much of a coward_ to do anything remotely romantic.

“Gwen, we’ve already established that the man is practically in love with you. I don’t think you need any more confirmation,” Elyan stated, rolling his eyes. Gwen stuck her tongue out at her brother.

“I know, you’ve said that so many times but what if-”

“Lance looked like he was going to dissolve into a puddle when you handed him some bread the other day,” Merlin said.

Gwaine joined in “That’s true. When we’re at practice all he can talk about is you or the next game. I don’t want to offend, but the next time he mentions you, I’m going to snipe him on the spot.”

“Gwen, I think it’s safe to say he won’t have a problem with you liking him back,” Morgana reassured her.

“Are you sure?”

“He’s _completely_ in love with you, Gwen. I see the man making heart eyes at you when you aren’t looking!” Arthur exclaimed.

“Thanks,” Gwen blushed, “Anyways, no more of me. What are you all doing this weekend?”

“Game,” All of the players at the table responded.

“Can you come this time?” Merlin pouted, “It’ll be fun with all of you guys.”

Arthur was about to protest but Morgana beat him to it ”Yeah, we’ll go. It’s on Saturday right?”

“Yeah. Come to practice too today. You’ll get to see Percival make Gwaine fall on his ass,” Leon said.

“Hey!” Gwaine shoved both of them.

-

Arthur was _cold._ He had bundled up with at least three layers and a scarf. Over the top? Yes, but it was completely understandable. He was staying after school to be at the team’s practice, but his classes could not have gone slower after lunch. All throughout them, Arthur was looking forward to seeing Merlin play. The last time he saw him, it made him restless. Merlin was incredible.

The last bell rang and he had to keep himself from running to the field. Once he found Morgana and Gwen they all headed to the field. When they reached, they all walked to the benches on the field, rather than the bleachers. Merlin was playing as usual, _bloody fantastic._ Their friends hadn’t noticed that they had arrived yet and switched to doing drills. While gathering cones, Merlin looked up in Arthur’s direction and smiled at him. _He has such a nice smile. Bet he can blow away all the girls with it._

Arthur tripped over thin air in response. Both Morgana and Gwen turned to look at him ”There was a rock,” They sat down and watched the boys play. Watching drills wasn’t as thrilling as seeing Merlin play, but it was something. He was still fast and exact with his movements. Arthur found it mesmerizing.

They continued like this for the next hour or so and switched back to scrimmage. Arthur began to realize how amazing Merlin really was. He was smart and funny, kind and _so_ talented. It made him glad that he was friends with him.

Merlin was _extremely_ intense when on the field. It was odd, to see him focus on something other than an essay. He was scoring left and right, making it look effortless. He had to give credit to the entire team as well, they were a perfect unit.  

Their coach blew his whistle and told them to get water. It _had_ been about two hours since they started anyway; and with the way they were playing, Arthur thought they would pass out sooner or later. Merlin came up to him, grabbed his hand and pulled him into a hug to greet him. He was sweaty and flushed from running for so long. _Woah._ He slipped out of the hug and shook his head, as if he could shake the thought out of his head ”Get off, you’re completely soaked.”

“Thought you would be happy to see me,” Merlin pouted, “Anyways, are you coming to the game? Don’t bail on me, Pendragon. You said you’d come.”

Arthur looked smug “I told you that I would come to _practice_ , not to the game.” Merlin’s pout intensified if that was even possible. “I’ll see though.”

“Are you staying for the rest of practice? We’re all going to hang out after.”

“Yeah, I’ll be there.”

Merlin smiled and headed back to the field “You’re full of shit, I’ll see you after.”

Right then, his brain decided to bring up something that had happened a few days prior:

Gwaine and Elyan were shoving food into their mouths as usual, when Gwaine exclaimed “Gays one, hets zero! Fuck you, Elyan!” He had managed to stuff twenty-one carrots in his mouth, before spitting them back onto his plate.

Arthur had perked up at his statement “I didn’t know you were gay.”

“I’m not,” he smiled, “I’m bi.” This should have surprised him more, but Gwaine did flirt with everyone and everything in sight. He continued “Have you seen some of the guys on the team? Facts state: soccer players have the best ass.” The rest of the guys at the table laughed it off, but Arthur couldn’t help blushing at what Gwaine said.

 _Huh._ He shuddered and decided to focus on doing chemistry and other homework. Gwen and Morgana were raving about a new show, so Arthur was determined to be productive. It was best not to have a shitload of work waiting for him once he got home.

About an hour later, it was around six when their practice ended. Leon yelled with his hands cupped around his mouth, “We’ll take showers and head to the entrance to meet you there? We’ll go the ice cream place?”

“Okay!” Morgana replied.

-

They all rode the bus to the new ice cream parlor that had opened up near their school. It had pink and white stripes on the walls and the scent of various flavors filled the air. It was quiet, or it had been until Arthur and his friends showed up. Arthur got coffee ice cream, he hoped it might help keep him awake. They all sat down at the small booth. Percival and Gwaine had to grab chairs to sit with the rest of them.

"We need a plan,” Morgana stated.

“A plan? I thought I was just going to ask him out. It seems simple and romantic, right?” At Gwen’s question, all the boys whined.

“Can’t you talk about something other than Lance?“ Elyan complained.

“No, we can’t! At least not for right now. They both really like each other and I want to see Gwen happy,” Morgana crossed her arms.

With her words in the air, they all began to organize: _Operation Gwen Sweeps Lance Off His Feet_ so they could put it in action. Arthur started to drown out their conversation, he was more focused on how strange he had been today. All the thoughts and the staring, but he didn’t get very far in analyzing anything because Merlin started to call his name ”Arthur? Arthur? Arthur!” He liked the way Merlin said his name. It sounded like it was the first time he heard it pronounced properly. It sounded perfect.

“Yeah?” _What the hell is wrong with me today?_

“Wanna tell us what you think of the plan?” Merlin asked.

“Okay, so, Lance is going to come to our lunch table and then we’re all going to hand him roses with small notes on them! It’ll be a bouquet of roses, _so_ romantic. Then Gwen’s gonna ask him out! Isn’t that cute?” If she had minded repeating it, it definitely didn’t show.

Arthur was confused “Isn’t a bouquet supposed to be twelve flowers? There’s only eight of us.”

“Ugh, we’ll just have some of the other players come to our table too! Anyways, what do you think?” Morgana insisted. Arthur thought it was a little silly, getting Lance a bouquet of roses; but it did seem cute coming from Gwen.

“I think it....it’s cute.”

Merlin gasped dramatically ”Oh my God, Arthur actually likes something romantic? I never would’ve expected this.”

“Shut up, _Merlin_ ,” Arthur flushed at his response and pushed him, “Are you sure you wanna go through with it? No backing out, Gwen.”

“Oh, as if, Arthur,” Gwen said, still a little pink. The boys at the table blew whistles at her response and she turned the color of the team’s uniforms.

When they left the parlor, Merlin pulled Arthur into a hug. He was startled at first, but slowly, Arthur put his arms around the other boy. Merlin was warm and his shampoo smelled like lavender too, reminding him of Merlin’s house. Arthur must have held on a second longer than a normal hug because when they parted, Merlin cocked his head, confused. But he smiled immediately after and said “See you at school.”

“Yeah,” Arthur waved and turned to Morgana. They started to walk towards the bus stop.

“So how’s it going with Merlin?”

Arthur turned a little pink “Huh? What do you mean? We’re friends.”

“The tutoring, Arthur. How’s your chem going?”

“Tutoring is good. Chem is as shitty as ever. Who let me take that hellhole of a class? I feel like I’m going to _die,_ Morgana,” His mood was kind of ruined, now that school had been mentioned.

“Okay, drama queen. You can get a new tutor. If it’s that bad, maybe you can drop the class.”

“No! I can’t drop, it’s too late for that and I’m not getting a new tutor. Merlin isn’t the problem, I just can’t absorb all that crap,” He shrugged.  

“Hmm...don’t worry too much. You’ll get the hang of it soon enough.”

They entered the bus and sat down ”Thanks.”

-

**Hey.**

**Uh.**

**Can we start meeting more often? Maybe on weekends? Or whenever you’re free, text me?**

**_sure. why? chem still fucking with you?_ **

**_i can meet on the days we don’t have games so schedule might change a little_ **

**_and maybe on regular days?? just meet me after practice_ **

**_that’s okay tho right?? as long as we’re meeting_ **

**Yeah. Sure.**

**_nice_**

**_see you at school then :D_ **

**Yeah, see you.**

Per Arthur’s request, they met _twice_ as often now. Instead of just Mondays and Fridays, it was almost the whole week now. Arthur just waited for Merlin at practice and they went over to Merlin’s house after. However, today they had gone to Arthur’s house because he had forgotten his textbook at home. He felt like going home anyways. It was the first time Merlin had come over to their house since he was sick, and that was a while ago. Luckily, Uther wasn’t home to bother Merlin and him. It was quiet since Morgana was at Gwen’s house. _Just the two of us today._ Arthur thought.

“Pull your chem out. Also how long do you wanna work on this?” Merlin said.

“Uh...maybe an hour? If you’re really tired we can just meet on weekends, I don’t want you hurt yourself working so hard,” Merlin didn’t even tease him for his concern, just smiled. _He looks exhausted._ “How about we do...thirty minutes, just help me with a couple of these problems and then you can nap.”

“Nap? Here?”

“Yeah, why not? I don’t think you’ll last the bus ride, you’d probably miss your stop,” Arthur shook his head.

“Okay, thanks.”

They worked on molarity problems and surprisingly, Arthur figured them all out easily. He was excited that he was finally able to understand it. Though they didn’t work for long, while Merlin explained the problems to him, he looked like he was about to pass out on the table.

“Okay, I think that’s enough work for today,” Arthur said as he closed his binder and put his papers away. He moved Merlin to the couch and went upstairs to get him blankets.

“Go to sleep. Your eyebags _have_ _eyebags_. Super fucking freaky,” He said throwing a blanket over him and handing Merlin a pillow.

“ _Clotpole,”_ Merlin yawned, “thanks though.”

“I’ll be in the kitchen if you need anything,” he gave Merlin a stern look and headed off, leaving Merlin to himself and his dreams.

Arthur went upstairs quickly to grab socks. He didn’t want to wake Merlin up with his bigfoot feet _,_ or at least that’s what Morgana called them. When he went back downstairs, Merlin was fast asleep. He looked so calm, it was endearing. Arthur looked at him and noticed he had really nice cheekbones. _Has Merlin’s hair always been this perfect?_ Arthur found himself thinking that Merlin could probably resemble a statue, with his sharp angles and soft eyes. He walked over to move the blanket higher on his shoulders. Once he fixed the blanket, he leaned down without thinking much. He was about to lay a quick kiss on Merlin’s hair but stopped. He backed away shocked at himself. _Where did that come from? What the hell?_

He walked back into another chair, hands on his mouth. Arthur needed to talk to Morgana. Or someone who knew how to deal with feelings because, _holy fucking hell. I almost kissed Merlin._

As if on cue Merlin woke up. He sat up and rubbed his eyes and if Arthur wasn’t in his current situation he would’ve thought it was cute. He couldn’t. He was freaking the _fuck_ out. “Thanks for letting me nap here. I should go though, don’t wanna make my mom worry,” Merlin said groggily.

Arthur had managed to calm himself down a little; or at least enough so that it wouldn’t seem like he had seen a ghost a minute ago. “Yeah, no problem. Yeah. See you at school.”

Merlin got up and packed his things. He was leaving for the door but turned around to give Arthur a smile. _Just what I needed right now! His perfect fucking smile._ He smiled back and closed the door behind him. He was so screwed.

-

When Morgana came home it was almost eight. She entered the house and Arthur practically ran up to her, clearly panicked.

“Arthur! What’s wrong? Are you okay?” She said noticing his disheveled hair and wide eyes.

“No, I’m _not_ okay. I just...God this is so fucking embarrassing,” Morgana looked at him concerned, “I, um, I tried to kiss Merlin. Or I was about to, and then I stopped myself.”

Morgana’s eyes looked like they might pop out of her head ”Serious?”

“Dead serious, why else would I be this panicked? I almost kissed my friend! Who’s _a boy_ by the way!”

“Okay, okay. Calm down, this isn’t a drama. You don’t have to figure anything out right now. Let’s just…look through what got you to this point. You know, sort your feelings out.”

“Okay,” he cleared his throat, “thanks.”

Arthur sat down and ignored his homework. This was probably a bad idea in hindsight but he wouldn’t have been able to focus on anything anyways. Morgana started to ask ”So, do you think you like him?”

“I mean, I tried to kiss him. But I don’t know? I could, I uh, I don’t know.”

“Okay, well we’re gonna figure that out,” Morgana smiled. “How about I ask you questions. You know, like a survey?” His sister grabbed a magazine off the coffee table and continued even when Arthur looked at her suspiciously. “Question one, do you find yourself looking at him _all_ the time.”

“You sound like an interrogator. Are you really going to use a magazine survey?”

“I am, so shut up! Do you wanna figure this out or not?” Morgana pushed him.

“Yeah okay, ask.”

“Okay, so? Do you stare at him?” Arthur blushed a little and his sister smirked.

“Fuck off...and maybe. Next question already.”

Morgana brought her hand to her heart and swooned. “ _Okay,_ is he always on your mind?”

“If you’re going to be like this I won’t ask you for help again! I don’t have to figure this out.”

“Shut up and answer the question, Arthur. We both know you won’t do that. Your love will consume you and you’ll go crazy.”

Arthur had to use all his energy to not yell at her. “Fine, and maybe.”

“You can’t answer maybe for all of the questions! It’s either yes or no! Do you think about him, yes or no? Be sure.”

“Yes! Okay, yes I do.”

“Good. Next question,” Arthur pouted and stuck his tongue out at her. “Are you happy, like _super_ happy when you see him?”

“Yeah…” Arthur _had_ found himself smiling a little more when with Merlin and he was glad for that.

“Aw!” Arthur hid his head in his hands. “Okay, I won’t tease. Next question, oh, this one is cute! Do you get butterflies when you’re with him?” _If you count almost hyperventilating while sitting next to him butterflies, then yeah._

“Yes?”

“Do you get excited to talk to him or text him?”

Arthur thought about how he always counted down the minutes till class ended to see him, or when they would meet for studying and figured the answer to the question was: “Yes.” He hid his face in a pillow “This is so fucking embarrassing, how many left?”

“Stop it! It’s really not, and like, two more.”

“Okay, shoot.”

Morgana looked up at him and said “Do you worry about him?” This one was pretty obvious, he had worried about Merlin’s health when he was sick, but that was just _regular friend_ worrying. Arthur had been on Merlin’s case a lot about overworking himself and had let him take a nap here just because of it. He worried about the other boy in practice, with the way he moved he would break something eventually. Maybe he did worry a little more than the normal friend would.

Arthur mumbled ”Obviously.”

“Last question. Oh wait, I don’t think I need to ask this,” Morgana grinned.

“What? What’s the question?”

Morgana had to keep herself from bursting into laughter “Do you want to kiss him?” Arthur threw a pillow at her in retaliation.

“Shut up! I regret telling you anything.”

“No way! This is good. I’m _pretty sure_ you like Merlin,” She said, but her face turned serious, “But Arthur, I just want you to know that I’ll always support you. I don’t care who you want to date, just as long as you’re happy. You don’t have to figure this all out at once. I’m happy you like someone,” She smiled at him and Arthur swore his heart melted a little.

He hugged her “Thank you.”

-

 _Okay, I like Merlin. That’s okay? I’m fine, it’s all good. He doesn’t need to know. I mean he’s probably straight right? But what am I? Morgana said I don’t need to figure it out right now, don’t stress. I mean people get crushes on their friends all the damn time, this is fine!_ Merlin interrupted his thoughts by clapping him on the back and greeting him ”Hey Arthur!” Arthur felt his face flush a little. _Not fucking fine. God, could you be any more obvious._ He moved away from him and said ”Hey.”

They sat on the lunch table with the rest of their friends. Lance was here today. He had almost forgotten but Morgana had yelled at him to remind him. “Don’t forget the rose and note Gwen’s gonna give you!” Gwen was smiling and all Arthur could feel was happiness for her, Lance clearly liked her.

“Okay, Lance is coming! Everyone get your stuff out,” Morgana whispered. They stood up and hid the roses behind their backs. Everyone was smiling, it was like they had planned a proposal or something. Lance came to the table and looked confused but smiled at Gwen. Merlin stood right next to Arthur and whispered “They’re cute,” in his ear. Arthur shivered a little but nodded in response. _It’s just cold._

“What’s going on?” Lance asked.

“Gwen has something to say to you,” Morgana blurted and Arthur smiled at Gwen. It felt like the whole universe smiled at all of them. Each of them handed a red rose to Lance. He was frowning, still confused. Once they completed the bouquet, everyone sat down and stared.

Gwen began “Um, I like you, Lancelot.”

“I like you too, Gwen,” Everyone laughed.

“No, I mean, _I like you_ I like you.”

“Oh,” Lance turned red with realization and embarrassment.

“Yes!” She said enthusiastically, “I wanted to know if you would go out with me? On a date?”

Lance was still red when he said “I would love to, Gwen.”

The entire table erupted in cheers and smiles when they hugged, flowers in hand. Arthur and Morgana hugged her too when she and Lance parted. All his football buddies enveloped him in a giant group hug and for the rest of lunch, Gwen and Lance held hands. Arthur couldn’t stop the sinking feeling in his stomach, _I can never tell him about this._

-

They went to Arthur’s house to tutor again. Like usual, they walked and rode the bus home, but it felt different. Arthur kept concentrating on the fact that Merlin’s thigh and shoulders kept bumping into his. He was too focused on the fact that Merlin would lean into him when they took a turn and he stayed there longer than Arthur could handle. He was focusing on the wrong things and completely missed what Merlin had said. He snapped out of his trance to find Merlin staring at him.

“Did you hear anything of what I just said, Arthur?” He looked at him accusingly.

“Yes?”

“You’re an ass,” He said crossing his arms.

“Sorry. Just spacing out.”

“What are you thinking about?” Merlin asked.

“Nothing important.”

Merlin chuckled “You looked like you were on an acid trip, your eyes got all big,” Arthur bumped his shoulder against Merlin’s, but still continued to get distracted. _Today is gonna be hell._ When Merlin explained molarity to him for the _ten-thousandth time,_ he still couldn’t pay attention. His thoughts of how his feelings would affect their friendship combined with their close proximity was driving Arthur fucking _insane._ Merlin seemed to have noticed that he was absorbed in his own mind and asked ”Arthur...what the hell are those red squiggles supposed to be?”

“Oh fuck, sorry. Wasn’t paying attention.”

“What’s going on? Are you okay?”

His concern only made Arthur’s heart speed up ”Yeah, I’m fine. Just spacing out you know?”

“Are you sure?”

Arthur’s eyes narrowed ”Yeah.”

“You’re never not focused, I’m kind of getting worried about you.”

“ _I’m okay_ , thank you very much. I’m just burnt out I guess. It’s not a big deal.”

“Okay...I think we should stop for today then, you can’t get anything done. I’ll leave you my notes to help you. See you at school.”

“Sorry,” He frowned.

“Don’t worry about it. See you at school,” As he left for the door, Arthur thought about how their next session would go; and the session after that. _I can’t be like this every time we meet, it’s gonna get in the way of everything. If I can’t sit still for two fucking hours what am I gonna do in the next week? He’s gonna figure it out eventually. I can’t stop staring at him._ He decided to ask his sister’s opinion on the matter.

“So? What do you think I should do? I don’t want it to ruin everything,” He asked.

“I mean if you can’t concentrate at all, which is very cute by the way! I’ve never seen you like this before! It’s-”

“ _Morgana._ ”

“Right,” she stopped, “I think maybe, just create a little distance? You’re spending so much of your time with him and you need to clear your mind. Clean slate and come back ready to deal with it? Your feelings might go away, who knows.” Arthur remained silent at her question and she asked again, ” _Okay?_ ”

“Okay. Thanks.”

-

Arthur thought about Morgana’s advice when he saw Merlin next. They were doing their usual work and talking, but this time Arthur _had_ been able to concentrate on his work. It was a miracle! He knew the material and grinned when he got every problem right. Merlin had hugged him when he was done and Arthur’s arms may have turned into jelly. He didn’t know how he was going to do this. He couldn’t help but wonder if Merlin would be friends with him if he had told him. Even if he was okay with the entire thing, it would still taint their friendship and he didn’t want anything to change. Arthur tried his best to focus on his work after, but being in Merlin’s room with him didn’t help a lot. Arthur was doing a lot better in the class and had a safety net under him now. If he got a bad score on a test, it wouldn’t matter, he would still get good marks at the end of the year. He was doing well on his work until Merlin looked up at him from his work and looked at him funny.

“What?” Arthur asked.

“You’ve got an eyelash. Let me get it.” _Oh._ Merlin moved closer to him and rested his hands on Arthur’s face. He grabbed onto the edge of his seat so hard, his knuckles had turned white. It felt like hours until Merlin pulled apart from him, making his face go red.

“Uh, thanks. I have to go to the bathroom.” Arthur needed to get out of here. His face was _tomato_ red and he couldn’t stop thinking about how close Merlin’s face was. _Shit._

After he had somewhat calmed himself down and his face returned to a normal color, he walked out of the bathroom. His heart was still pounding in his chest and when he tried to do a single problem, he entered the numbers in the calculator wrong. _Five times._ Morgana was right. He needed to stop seeing Merlin all the time, a little distance would help clear Arthur’s mind. He turned to Merlin and made up a bullshit excuse, “Hey, I need to go, Morgana said she needed me home. I’ll see you at school though?”

“Oh, yeah sure. See you at school.” Arthur probably imagined it, but Merlin’s voice sounded slightly disappointed.

Arthur tried to get out of the house as fast as possible without seeming impolite. He decided a little space wouldn’t hurt him or Merlin. They would still see each other and tutor, just...not all the time. When Arthur got home, he flopped onto his bed, groaning. If he kept up with their regular schedule, he would slip up in no time! He would probably give it away by staring at him too much or stumbling over his words like a loser. He didn’t even know if Merlin was gay. Actually, he was pretty sure Merlin was straight.

**Hey, so I wanted to know if we could do less tutoring?**

**Is it okay if we switch back to two days a week?**

**_sure, works better with my schedule_ **

**_any reason why?_ **

**Just busy.**

**_okay so two days it is_ **

**Thanks.**

**_no problem_ **

Arthur thanked whatever God was out there helping him. He let out a breath he didn’t even know he was holding. He was doing well in everything, in fact, the only class he had to worry about was chemistry. He knew what he was doing so far. Merlin had explained everything a thousand times over and he had notes. He would be fine for the next test. _Just until I get rid of these stupid feelings._

-

Saying that he would be fine without seeing Merlin to explain things had been an understatement. A _huge_ understatement. Even with seeing him only two times a week and Merlin’s notes only helped him a little. He didn’t completely understand what the hell he was doing with kinetics. It had been about three weeks since their new arrangement and Arthur was still struggling. He asked Morgana about his work, but even she got confused sometimes. Arthur had even resorted to asking his father about his homework, his last resort of course. He wanted to drop the class so bad, but he knew his father wouldn’t approve. He would probably lecture him on how _Arthur needed to make commitments, and that he couldn’t just give up on these things if he was going to manage the business._ He and Morgana were working on his homework when his phone buzzed.

**_hey i know we said only two days but i really need your help with this essay_ **

**_i’m dying_ **

**_ur killing me_ **

**_arthur_**

**_just this once_ **

**_please_ **

**Okay.**

**I’ll help you, stop being so dramatic.**

**_thank you :D_ **

With that, he left for Merlin’s house. His stomach might have dropped to his stomach when he entered the house, but he pushed the feeling aside. He was here to help Merlin with his essay and that was all. They sat in his room as usual. It was starting to get dark out so some of the stars on his ceiling began to glow, just faintly. Arthur had brought the papers close to his face, almost like a shield from Merlin. He was afraid if he looked at the other boy, he wouldn’t be able to stop.

He noticed small errors but in general, his essay was great. Arthur was proud of Merlin, being able to improve in this amount of time. But unfortunately, Arthur couldn’t say the same for himself.

“Your essay’s great. I saw some small spelling mistakes but honestly, it’s good. Everything’s on point,” He smiled.

“Really? Thanks!”

“Yeah. No problem.”

Arthur was about to get up when Merlin asked “Do you wanna just stay here until dinner? I haven’t seen you that often.” It was true. In the three weeks that had passed, along with Arthur reducing their interactions by _a lot,_ Arthur stopped walking to his locker with him. He even went back to his original spot at the lunch table, leaving Merlin more confused than ever. He tried his absolute best to avoid Merlin as much as possible, he was definitely taking Morgana’s advice a little too far, but it was fine. And besides, whenever the other boy came close, he was terrified that he would blurt out everything. Arthur’s brain always short-circuited around him.

“Uh...maybe not today, I’ve got to head home to Morgana,” _Fuck._

“Come on! Just stay for a little. I can help you with some stuff if you want,” when Arthur didn’t respond he asked again, “Please? You can bring the cake home to Morgana. Mum made the one you love.” Arthur couldn’t argue with him, not when his eyes were glittering _and_ he promised cake. 

“Okay, I’ll stay. But you need to help me with chem again, only fair.”

“Good!” Merlin smiled so wide it melted his heart ten times over.

He explained concepts over and over until Arthur could finally understand things. He was glad Merlin was so patient with him. _Is there anything to not like? Give me something, come on!_

They had moved onto his bed and Arthur was trying his best to listen to Merlin’s process rather than the fact that their knees were touching. He was about to tell Merlin he needed to go when his mother called them down for dinner.

When they came down and Arthur was greeted by Merlin’s mother, he knew he couldn’t just leave. His mother was just too _nice._ She had been so kind to him when he started to show up more and more. When he casually told her that his mother had died when he was young, Hunith packed him at least an entire week's worth of food to take and gave him a large hug. His mother was too kind to say no to. Arthur ate as quickly as he could without seeming rude and went upstairs to get his things. When he came back downstairs and out the door, Merlin met his quick glance with a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes.

-

“Day thirty-one into the Merlin Hiatus…” Arthur trailed off resting his head on his arms.

“ _Merlin Hiatus?_ Stop being so fucking dramatic, you saw him yesterday. Also, reminder? You’re the one who’s avoiding him, not the other way around,” Morgana was right though. It had been almost a month since they had spoken properly, not counting their regular studying sessions. Even then, Arthur had tried to limit the conversation to work on his homework.  

They were at Avalon again and he was working on his other class’s work when Merlin’s hand brushed his own. Arthur jumped up. He quickly moved away from him and Merlin narrowed his eyes, clearly confused. But before Merlin could ask him anything, he excused himself to the bathroom and on the way repeated, _get it together,_ like a mantra. He couldn't believe he was still like this, even after a month. He had been doing _so_ good. He was only focused on his work and had finally gotten the hang of all of his classes, even chemistry! Merlin just _had_ to go an distract him from doing anything, specifically thinking. On his way to the bathroom, he thought about the time he had almost confessed his feelings to Merlin, _in his room,_ right then and there. Arthur just couldn’t think around the other boy, he was a complete mess. He came out of the bathroom still a little flushed but heart stable. He had to do this just until his feelings were gone. He had been missing Merlin, but he just couldn’t handle having a crush on one of his closest friends, it messed with his head.

He sat down and continued his work like he hadn’t just freaked out. _Totally normal. Cool._ Merlin didn’t seem to think that everything was fine though. He turned to Arthur, giving him a stern look.

“What the hell is going on with you?”

“What?” his breath caught in his throat, “Nothing’s going on with me.”

“Yeah, right. You won’t even look me in the _eye,_ Arthur. You say you don’t need help but Morgana told me that you stayed up till three almost every night for two weeks. You’re distant and you always look tired. I’m really worried about you. Answer me honestly this time, _please._ Are you okay?”

Arthur would’ve lied if he said that his heart didn’t break a little. He couldn’t believe Merlin was _this_ worried about him but he really couldn’t stand it anymore. He had made Merlin feel unnecessarily worried about him. He didn’t want that, not at all.

Arthur excused himself to go to the bathroom _again._ He needed to think. _Is this really a good idea? He’s gonna hate me. Fuck._ When he came back out, he had an answer: he was going to tell Merlin about his feelings for him. With what he had been doing, Merlin would’ve either pushed harder at the issue or just drifted away. Arthur felt nauseous when he sat down. He didn’t think he had ever been this nervous in his life. He started “Um...there’s really nothing wrong with me-”

“ _Arthur,_ please.”

“Let me finish, okay?” he took a deep breath in, “Um...so the reason I’ve been so distant and stuff is...it’s because I have feelings for you,” he exhaled. Arthur felt like there was a weight lifted off and put on him simultaneously. _Shit. Can’t go back now._ The words kept tumbling out of his mouth and he continued “Um, so you don’t have to like me back or anything. You just keep on asking and stuff. I was just avoiding you because I couldn’t really think straight around you and it was kinda fucking with my head. I mean I really didn’t want to tell you either. I didn’t want to ruin our friendship because, you know, we’re close. Or we used to be and now,” he paused, “and now I’m rambling like an ass. Uh, anyway that’s why.” There was a long silence. Unable to look Merlin in the eyes the entire time he continued to stare down at his lap. _Oh my God, he’s not saying anything. Of course, he’s not saying anything. He’s probably straight too. Fuck, I need to get out of here._ “I’m...I’m just gonna order some more coffee.”

Arthur got up and lined up with the rest of the customers. He was tapping his foot, begging for his stomach to go back into place. His heart wouldn’t stop racing and his palms were getting _way_ too sweaty. When he came back to their table, Merlin’s things were gone and so was he.

 _Oh._ The weight on top of him crushed his shoulders.

_I screwed up._

-

He came home to Morgana and immediately fell onto the couch, face first. She looked up at him from her magazine.

“Hey, what’s wrong?”

He was angry at himself and angry at Merlin too. He had just left, without a note or anything. Arthur looked up, eyes red. “Why does everyone keep asking me that stupid, _stupid_ question? There’s nothing wrong with me! I’m fucking fine!” At Arthur’s outburst, Morgana moved closer, putting her arms around his shoulders even though he was still lying on the couch. He was confused and upset and felt foolish. _What did you expect would happen?_ He couldn’t believe he had done that. He had ruined a perfect relationship. Arthur didn’t feel like he had to be perfect around Merlin, he didn’t have to be a role model like he had to for Morgana. Or smart like he was around Leon, it was freeing to be around him. They shared dumb jokes and talked about their dreams and Arthur could open up. He had just messed all of that in the span of two whole minutes. When he finally sat up, his eyes felt like they were burning. He turned to Morgana who immediately hugged him.

“I told him,” Arthur said, his voice sounded muffled in between his sister’s arms.

“Hey, it’s okay. You’re fine,” When he heard her words he just held on tighter. He _wasn’t_ fine. He was exhausted and was sure that Merlin would never talk to him again. Arthur didn’t even know how he would face him the next day. Maybe he wouldn’t, he could just skip, it was just this once. He didn’t have to see Merlin and he could catch up on other work. Morgana pulled away and squeezed his shoulders. Arthur said ”I’m staying home from school tomorrow. I don’t feel well.”

“That’s okay,” she stroked his hair, “you should’ve taken a couple of days off anyway.” She gave him one of her _I’m always right looks._ “Take a goddamn break for once.”

“Yeah. I will.”

Contrary to Morgana’s protests and his own unwillingness, Arthur hadn’t taken the day off. He didn’t want to miss anything important. But he was absolutely dreading the thought of seeing Merlin. Morgana said that she would sit with him at lunch, away from everyone, but that couldn’t stop Arthur from seeing Merlin in the halls. On the way to class, in his mind he replayed over and over how Merlin just left him there. It made Arthur’s chest hurt. _What if he hates me? What if he never wants to see me ever again? What if he never wants to be friends again? Shit._

Arthur couldn’t focus during any of his classes. No matter how hard he tried, he just drowned everything out, occasionally tuning in and backing out. Every word his teachers said just wouldn’t register. _Ha._ He thought to himself, _even when I don’t want to think about him, I still do. What a great plan. Ignoring Merlin to get him off my mind, look at where that got me!_

The only thing that kept Arthur sane until lunch was the fact that school would be over sooner after it. He walked out of the building and felt a slight breeze. It had gotten a lot colder, raining often. Merlin would stop his games soon, the season was going to end. _Fuck._ He wanted to avoid thinking about him or even seeing him the entire day. His plan was foiled because, on the way to their table, Arthur _ran_ into Merlin. Arthur was pushed and landed into Merlin’s chest. When he pulled back his face resembled that of a deer in headlights. Even though the two boys were the same height, Arthur had never felt smaller. He could’ve sworn Merlin’s face looked a little pink but Arthur was also more than a little dizzy from the impact. Arthur opened his mouth like he was going to say something, but before he could say anything Merlin turned in the other direction and walked away.

Arthur was left confused and hurt. _He probably never wants to be friends again. Shit._ He had walked to the spot Morgana and he agreed to meet at. When he sat down his sister noticed that something was wrong and asked about it. Arthur turned to her and said “I ran into him while walking here. I forgot we got out of the same bloody building. I think he’s avoiding me, I would,” Morgana put her arms around him.

“Don’t say that! He’s not avoiding you, just...processing things. You told him something big. Just be patient about it,” Arthur nodded.

-

Arthur _had_ been patient. It had been another two weeks since Merlin had left him at the coffee shop and at this point, Arthur was sure that they would never get back to being friends. Thinking about Merlin all the time left a gigantic hole in his chest. The whole situation made him irritated, he had told Merlin about his feelings, but how long would it take him to talk to Arthur about it? He couldn’t believe Merlin was being so stubborn about it.

“I can’t believe he’s still doing this. I think he stopped going my way to the bus stop,” Arthur couldn’t think of anything else to say.

“Yeah. This _really_ isn’t like him. He doesn’t run away from things.”

“Wow, way to make me feel better, Morgana,” he deadpanned.

“Sorry. But if you’re so bothered by it, go talk to him about it. You two were such good friends. Also, I want to sit next to Gwen again! I don’t think she enjoys being the only girl at the table that much. Just clear the air.”

“Talk to him? Are you mad?”

“That’s what I just said, _so_...yeah.”

“Wonder how he would feel about that? A surprise visit from the boy he never wants to see again!”

“Oh, come off it! Just go talk to him, I’m sure he wouldn’t mind some homework help. That could definitely be your excuse,” she smiled at him.  

“Fine. I’ll think about it.”

When he came home, Arthur laid in his bed, staring at the ceiling. He thought about it long enough to have nothing else on his mind. This was how he found himself texting Merlin at one in the morning to _help him with chemistry._ What he had asked of Merlin was somewhat true anyways, and besides, he needed an excuse to ask him if what he had told Merlin was just that bad. He turned off his phone and fell asleep, not expecting an answer whatsoever.

Arthur woke up to a message from Merlin saying:

**_yeah, i’ll help you with you stuff_ **

It had made Arthur beyond exasperated. Arthur wanted an answer and he was happy he got it, but it had taken Merlin two weeks and Arthur reaching out to him to communicate, even a little. Already dreading the day, he got out of bed.

He wasn’t scared of seeing Merlin, _no._ He was absolutely terrified. Arthur didn’t get scared of things easily. He had even gotten used to jumpscares (Merlin made them watch at least ten more horror movies after _It_ ). It seemed like his classes went faster than usual too. _Time is never on my fucking side, is it?_ Arthur breezed through his last class and walked to the bus stop.

He had agreed to meet Merlin at Avalon. Their regular spot for studying was a place he didn’t visit anymore; it served as a bittersweet memory now. He had no reason to, anyway. He got off the bus and immediately saw Merlin through the glass door. Waving at him, he opened the door and walked to their table.

Merlin moved to sit right next to him and for a few seconds, their hands brushed. He had noticed that seemed to happen a lot whenever they studied. He ignored it and continued to work on his problems. He needed to get over his crush anyways. _I’ll keep all my feelings in and then one day, I’ll die. That would definitely work._

It had been about an hour since they started and Arthur was worn out. He wanted to crawl into a hole and never come back out. It was awkward enough that he had already told Merlin about his feelings, but now he was practically squished against him. He turned from the essay and found Merlin staring at him.

Arthur had started to ask him what he was looking at when Merlin started to lean in. His body leaning in, face coming closer. _Maybe he just wants a pen? He’s going to turn, right?_

-

Merlin’s lips were on his. _Woah._ They fit like pieces of a puzzle. _Okay._ Arthur’s mind short-circuited and his skin felt like it was on fire. But the kiss lasted for a total of three seconds before Arthur pushed him off. Merlin’s eyes slowly opened, and his face contorted into confusion. Before he knew it, Arthur was standing up and walking out of the cafe, with Merlin right behind him. He didn’t know where he was going, but it didn’t matter.

Merlin caught up, stepped in front of him, and blocked his path like a _child_. Arthur tried to move past him but, he just wouldn’t budge.

“Please, get out of my way,” Arthur said, trying to maneuver around him.

“No, I won’t. Why did you push me off?”

“You don’t just get to ignore me for this long, then kiss me and expect that I’ll fall into your arms!”

Merlin scoffed, “You ignored me too!”

“That’s completely different! I ignored you because I didn’t know how to handle my feelings, I didn’t know how to stop thinking about you. Every time I looked at you, I could see what you did happening,” Arthur exclaimed. The words came out of his mouth and Arthur would’ve been lying if he said he wasn’t a little horrified at himself.   

Merlin’s eyes looked glassy as he said “Well, I did too. What’s so different?”

Arthur ran his hands through his hair and stretched. _What the fuck._ He stumbled and took a seat on the bench next to him, trying to process what had just happened. Merlin sat right next to him. He turned to him “Okay, so...what you’re saying is that you like me too?”

It was Merlin’s turn to look annoyed “If you weren’t such a clotpole you would’ve understood that that’s what I said!”

“ _You_ like _me_?” Arthur said once again. Merlin rolled his eyes and held his face in his hands.

“Yes, _I_ like _you_ ,” He peeled Merlin’s fingers off his face, flustered by the sudden contact.

“Okay, well I’m going to need an explanation. I mean, I thought you were straight. You were with Freya for a while right?” Arthur scratched the back of his neck, “At least I didn’t disappear on you.”

Merlin blushed and this time Arthur was definitely sure about it. “You’re right and I’m sorry. I just needed some time. Also...I mean, I was with Freya, but I was probably more into Daniel Radcliffe than her. You know, Harry Potter posters.”

“ _Harry Potter?_ Guess it wasn’t just the writing you liked, huh?” Arthur wheezed and Merlin rolled his eyes. All tension between them had dissolved. “Well, I didn’t think you liked me, like at all. Figured I should just get rid of the feelings and not ruin the friendship.”

“You’re so…” He paused and exhaled. “I was always finding an excuse to hang out. Me touching you all the time wasn’t just an accident.”

Both of them smiled. Merlin launched into his explanation. How he had always thought Arthur was cute. How he would stare at him at lunch without Arthur even knowing. Of course, Arthur couldn’t stop his cheeks from turning red. That happened way too often around him. Merlin told him that he had to actually _rehearse_ asking Arthur to help him with his essays.

“So, um. What are we gonna do now?”

“Go home? It’s kind of late now, I don’t want Morgana to worry about you, or kill me,” Merlin said.

“ _Now_ who’s the clotpole? I’m talking about what we’re gonna do about _this._..” Arthur ran his hands over his thighs, self-consciously.

“Oh!” Merlin moved closer, “Um. Well, if you want, we can maybe go on a date?”

“I would like that. Let’s go on a date,” he smiled. Butterflies flew all around his stomach.

They held hands the entire bus ride home. Merlin had taken his hand and smiled while Arthur’s eyes went wide as he stuttered about how he was shy about PDA. Merlin had made up an excuse about how his hands were cold and that Arthur’s were warm. Even if he was a little embarrassed, Arthur couldn’t stop staring at their intertwined fingers.

-

The next day, Morgana stopped him at breakfast and demanded he tell her what happened the day before.

“Okay, not that I’m complaining, but why aren’t you sulking and sad?” Morgana asked him.

“I, uh, I’m going on a date with Merlin.”

Morgana squealed and jumped up at his response. Arthur was immediately crushed in her arms, almost unable to breathe. When he slipped out from her bone-crushing embrace, she said “I’m so happy for you, Arthur!”

He smiled softly at her “Thanks.”

He was late for school that day. He was too distracted telling his sister everything that had happened. And once he reached school, he started to count the minutes until he could see Merlin again. Arthur went through all his classes with his mind elsewhere and for once, he didn’t care.

He had been tapping his foot impatiently against the floor and was so close to just cutting class when the bell for lunch rang. He bolted out of the classroom and headed to his locker.

**Meet me at my locker.**

**_ok ;D_ **

**Shut up.**

He was putting his books away when a figure showed up behind his locker door. Arthur closed it to find Merlin grinning at him. _He has such pretty eyes. They’re so blue. Wow._ Merlin continued to stare at him but said “Wanna head over to the table?”

“Yeah. Let’s go.”

They walked over to the lunch table and sat next to each other, they didn’t notice the strange looks their friends gave them. It was clear everyone had been surprised at Arthur suddenly showing up after weeks of sitting elsewhere. Leon hugged him and Gwen smiled at them, but the rest of the table looked confused. Gwaine finally spoke up “When did you two become so friendly?”

Arthur turned a bright red. _Fuck, that needs to stop happening._ “Oh, we were just being stupid,” Gwaine gave them a suspicious look, but shrugged and continued to stuff food into his mouth.

Morgana shoved him a little and wiggled her eyebrows but Arthur just gave her a look, _shut up or I’ll turn you into a snail._ They all continued to eat their lunch like nothing had happened, joking and yelling at Gwaine to stop throwing food at Percival. Well, that was until Merlin grabbed Arthur’s hand under the table and he choked on his salad. Everyone stared at him but he just waved and said it was fine. _Woah?_ He looked at Merlin with huge eyes and took his hand out of the other boy’s. He didn’t notice Merlin’s smile falter and continued to eat.

Lunch had ended and Arthur was walking towards the trash bins to throw his things away but was stopped by Merlin.

“Hey, so uh, what are we doing for our date?” He looked down and fidgeted with his hands. Arthur was trying to look him in the eyes, but Merlin made it difficult. “Hey, are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.”

“Um, about the hand holding thing, I’m just not used to PDA. I just need to warm up to holding hands all the time,” he smiled sheepishly.

“You don’t have to do it all the time,” Merlin’s eyes met his, “But, um, what are we doing for our date? I’m fine with anything.”

“I think I have something in mind. How about...the day after tomorrow, Friday? And it’ll be a surprise.”

“Okay.”

They walked back to their classes together, hands brushing intentionally.

-

It was the day of their date and Arthur couldn’t stop worrying. He had tried on at least ten different pants and shirts and was yelled at by Morgana three different times for fussing too much. He ended up wearing a plain black shirt and blue jeans because Morgana was shouting at him to just _get out of the house, already!_ She tossed him a red scarf right before he left.

**Wear something warm, it’s going to be cold.**

**_where are we going?_ **

**It’s a surprise. No telling.**

**_:( fine_ **

**Shut up. You’ll like it.**

**_see you soon ;D_ **

Arthur tucked his phone away and sat in his father’s car. At this point, Arthur didn’t care. And besides, what his father didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him. He drove to Merlin’s house as carefully and quickly as he could. His heart felt like it was beating a million miles a minute. When the door opened, his jaw almost dropped. Merlin had a plain blue shirt and black jeans on. But what really shocked him was the fucking _leather jacket._ He didn’t even know Merlin owned anything like it. He looked really good, and the moonlight shining down on him didn’t do Arthur’s already flushed face any favors.

Arthur couldn’t stop staring. “You look, you. Wow.” _Nice going, Shakespeare._

Luckily for him, Merlin stumbled over his words too. “Thanks. Um, you...you too. You look great.”

Arthur smiled at him and led him to the car. This time, it was Arthur who grabbed Merlin’s hand. And this time, he couldn’t help but notice Merlin’s gigantic grin. They held hands and drove and drove until it seemed like they had reached the end of the world. It was nice, being so calm and happy for once, Arthur realized. When they had reached their destination: the countryside, Arthur stepped outside and swore to himself that he had never felt better. He told Merlin to stay in the car and close his eyes. There was a cold breeze as he walked to the trunk and brought out at least four blankets and food. Once everything was set up, he helped Merlin out.

“Okay, open your eyes,” Arthur said. He had taken Merlin stargazing. His mind was filled with thoughts of _what if he doesn’t like it_ and _it’s so sappy, he’s gonna be so embarrassed; hell, I’m going to be embarrassed._ But it didn’t matter, because when Merlin opened his eyes, his face practically lit up and everything was fine again.

“Wow. It’s gorgeous.” He said, turning around. “How’d you find this place? I can see every star.” He paused. “You know, it looks like-”

“Your room? I thought you might like it, you know, because of your ceiling.” Silence washed over them and Arthur began to wonder if he had done something wrong. He didn’t get to say anything though; he was enveloped into a tight hug. Merlin smelled like fabric softener and lavender, he wanted it to last forever. It didn’t. So when he pulled back, Arthur said, “I’m guessing you like it?"

“I love it.” He grabbed Arthur’s hand and gave it a small squeeze. They sat down, side by side, and pulled the blankets around themselves. Merlin was still staring at the stars when Arthur shifted his body towards him. He broke their comfortable silence by saying, “Your eyes look like this right after a game, you know?”

Merlin hummed and asked, “Like what?”

“Your eyes look shiny. You, you have an entire galaxy in them. They’re really beautiful.”

Merlin chuckled. “What happened to not getting the I don’t get the _you’ve got stars in your eyes crap_ , huh?”

“Wow, way to ruin the mood, Casanova.” Arthur scoffed.

“No! I was joking, but thank you. And for the record, I think you’re eyes are beautiful too.” Arthur’s face turned twenty shades of red in five seconds.

“Shut up.” He looked away. “I’ve got food. Uh...some scones. Oh, there’s warm water and some tea packets, too.”

Merlin moved out of the blankets but immediately started to shiver. Arthur noticed and handed him his scarf.

“I’m not that cold, it’s okay, take it.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, and besides, you’ll probably look great with it on,” He smiled. They ate and Arthur felt relaxed. Truly and totally relaxed. He didn’t think about his classes or his father or his future for once. Their fingers were intertwined and all he thought about was how warm Merlin’s hands were. He had been wrong; they weren’t always cold. They finished eating and rushed to get under the blankets again and while looking up at the sky, Arthur remembered something, “Hey, did you ever finish that poem?”

Merlin shifted. “What poem?”

“You know, the one you wouldn’t show me. What was it about?”

“The sun,” Merlin said, smiling. “And um, yeah, you can see it. I have it on my phone.”

_you are everything_

_brazen:_

_white hot heat blistering_

_beneath a veil of flames._

_you burn like no other_

_yet i crave your fiery embrace_

_like it’s religion._

 

_son of apollo_

_you are the warmth of july_

_and the tender bruises_

_of ripened fruit,_

_bursting and crackling_

_under summer’s_

_bleeding aegis_

 

_enigmatic star of a boy,_

_you are creation and_

_destruction itself._

_the untamable heavenly body_

_residing in the hollow of my heart._

_the humming of life_

_just beneath my fingertips._

_you,_

_the sun._

When he handed Merlin his phone back, Arthur couldn’t breathe. “This is so...wow. How the hell did you write this?” He swallowed. “Uh, who did you write it about?” 

“Hey, I can write poetry, or at least I _tried._ And I can’t believe you didn’t notice, but it’s about _you,_ you clown,” Merlin lied down, hands covering his face. “God, it’s so fucking cheesy. Sorry.”

“No. I love it. Thank you,” Arthur smiled. _I’m the sun. In his eyes, I am the sun._ When his back was flat on the blankets, he moved to face Merlin. He couldn’t stop staring. The boy in front of him was just too stunning. From his captivating eyes to his adorable smile, _way_ too stunning. Merlin unfortunately, noticed his ogling and said, “Are you going to stare a hole into my head?”

Arthur chuckled, “No, you’re just…”

“I’m just?” Merlin turned to face him as well.

“You’re just so amazing.”

“Shut up,” Merlin scoffed.

“You’re this talented, athletic, smart person, who can _also_ write poetry...” Merlin’s hands went up to hold Arthur’s face and his breath hitched.

“Now _that_ was cheesy,” he teased, “You’re pretty amazing yourself though, Arthur Pendragon.”

“Me?”

“Yes, _you._ You’re smart and caring and loyal. You’re a lot of good things,” Merlin looked back at him and Arthur’s heart felt like it couldn’t take anymore. His hands went up to Merlin’s face and his thumbs moved on their own accord, tracing every one of his features. His eyebrows, his cheekbones, his bottom lip.

“I’m gonna do something. If it’s stupid, tell me?”

He could feel Merlin take in a breath. “Okay.”

Arthur leaned in and his nose collided with Merlin’s. They both laughed, but still kept their hands on each other’s faces.

He leaned in again and their lips pressed together. They were on their sides so it was a little messy, but Arthur couldn’t have cared less. Merlin’s lips were so soft and the moment couldn’t have been better; plus, he was _really_ good at this. They kissed and kissed and Arthur felt like his lips would go numb. Merlin’s hands moved from his face to being tangled in his hair and with every small tug, Arthur melted further into the blankets. When they finally pulled apart, he smiled so hard his cheeks started to hurt.

Arthur propped himself up on his elbow but had to look away when he said, “You’re good at kissing too. This isn’t fair.”

“Prat,” Merlin replied and pulled him back down. They stayed in each other’s arms for what seemed like forever until Merlin cleared his throat and spoke up, “Um.”

Arthur hummed in response and let him continue. “Do you want to be my boyfriend?” He had said it so nonchalantly that Arthur almost ignored the question altogether.

He sat up and stuttered out a “What?”

Merlin followed and asked as calm as the first time “Do you want to be my boyfriend?”

“Wh-Um, I-” _Wow, forgotten the entire English language, have we?_

“If it’s too soon for you, that’s fine. I just thought, you know, since we like each other,” Merlin said, smiling at him. He looked a bit nervous, now that Arthur noticed. 

“No!” Merlin’s eyebrows shot up. “No, I mean, yeah. Fuck. I can’t speak, I would like that.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, I would," Merlin pulled him into another kiss. It was chaste and sweet, but still, when they pulled apart, Arthur looked dazed. When he pulled himself together he said, “You’ve got to give me a warning before you do that. You’re driving me crazy.”

“Oh, okay,” Merlin shrugged. “I’m going to kiss you again. Good enough?”

“Definitely,” He said and smiled.

They sat like that, under the stars, kissing. And it was peaceful and absolutely perfect. _God, I’m so fucked._

 

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading!! it means soo much <3 please comment/ give a kudos if you liked it! mwah
> 
> and a BIG thank you to my lovely friend maya who wrote the poem!! and to my friends who helped me edit!! i love you <3


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